i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
