did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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