Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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