And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
