my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
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my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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