So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
