Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
