Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize