pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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