really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
