I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
