i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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