I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
