So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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