I wannas sexs uuuuu
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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