I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
