operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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