i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
