So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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