hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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