The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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