What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
