Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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