Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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