i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
