i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
