I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
