too bad you live with your parents still
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
