Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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