It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
