Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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