Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
