The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
