Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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