In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You dont lie about slip and slides
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
