if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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