so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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