shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
