Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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