K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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