Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
