Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
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we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
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The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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