you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
