So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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