a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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