so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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