i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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