Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
