the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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