im drinking this country out of the recession.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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