your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
