Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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