...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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