Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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