yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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