yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
