Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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