i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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