Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I need to calm my uterus...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize