sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
last night I used snow as a chaser
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
