A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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