He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
