the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
