Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
