What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The feeling are messing with the penis
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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