Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
