And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
No subtext here. People are naked.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
